As we start another year, as I mentioned last year, I'm not all about setting resolutions, as some people do. Last year, I decided to make monthly challenges for myself each month, but I didn't quite get the results I wanted. Once the month was over, it was rare to actually continue that challenge. Then once school started back in September, I fell off the bandwagon altogether and stopped even creating a challenge because I was just trying to keep my head above water at the new school I was at.
Regardless, I think I am going to choose a word to help guide me throughout the year. After having a rough beginning of the school year, a change in schools, and then a good, but busy few holiday weeks, I need to get back in a good groove. As I talked about back in 2012 in this post, Ali Edwards has an online class called One Little Word that I learned about through Nicole. I never actually completed the class, but really liked the idea and it got me to thinking about resolutions in a whole new light. That year, I chose the word "balance". The boys were only 9 months old and after getting back to work full time that school year it was tricky to balance both work and the boys. At that age, they were mobile and getting into a lot, yet still heavily reliable on being entertained, but not walking, etc. I wanted to figure out how to balance time with the boys, work, and have time for myself. This past year, I chose "challenges" as a way for me to try to make small changes, one month at a time, to try to get lasting results. Well, that didn't work very well as I mentioned above. So, that got me to thinking about what I could do this year that would actually stick.
Last night I was thinking about this as we drove over to our friend's parents house for their NYE party. Nothing really clicked until I heard my friend tell her mom who was venting about something at the time "okay mom, you've got 3 hours and 45 minutes to get all that negativity out. In 2014, you have got to be more positive!" And although much of us snickered after she said this, something clicked with me. Positivity. I wouldn't say I'm a hugely negative person, but these past 4 or 5 months, I can definitely remember days, or even weeks, where I was quite negative - okay, very negative! Much of it was related to work and my unhappiness with the school I was working at, but even after I left work I found myself bitching about something. Even if it wasn't work related, I often found myself snapping at the littlest things just because I was irritated about something that normally wouldn't set me off. The boys obviously didn't understand any of my complaining, but I'm sure it wasn't very pleasant for Troy or other people I communicated with on a daily basis. Well, now that I'm back at UPA, things have gotten better work-wise, so there is no excuse there. But why is it so easy to get engrossed in a conversation with someone and realize that the conversation has turned into a bitch-fest about something or someone? Now I'm not saying that anything is wrong with venting about something that happened, but there comes a time when enough is enough. Get it off your chest if you have to, and move on. We only live once - why live your one life being unhappy? It's not fair to you or those around you.
So, on to positivity. What will this mean for me? First, surround myself with positive people. Yes, I know we all have our bad days, don't worry, I'm not going to un-friend you if you need to vent because lord knows I will have to at some point to. That's natural. But can you think of someone that comes to you for advice and you give your point of view and nothing you say is what they want to hear? It's like that person is having a pity party and despite providing your thoughts on helping that person, which they asked for to begin with, they don't want to hear it. If you aren't willing to make a change or improve a certain situation, then either don't ask for advice or don't come to me about it. There are not enough minutes in my busy day to entertain your negativity. Because you know that the person that does this doesn't do it just 1 time. They are a negativity regular. And don't think you can rub off your negative feelings on me. Just because you might be frustrated about something, don't assume that because we are friends that I am automatically going to be frustrated along with you. I will listen, but I might not agree, and that's okay!
Second, get things off my chest that are really bothering me, and then let it go. As I said earlier, I think that venting is normal. And most of you that know me, know that although I don't enjoy confrontation, I will voice my opinion about something. If I'm irritated at something, I most likely will tell you if it's on my mind. Is this a good thing? A bad thing? I don't know, but I think I do it because it's just easiest for me to say it out loud and get it off my chest. One thing I need to start doing a better job though, is to let it go after I say it. And also realize that sometimes I don't have to actually verbalize it to be done with it. Maybe I will start journalling instead of always feeling the need to talk - depending on the situation.
Third, assume the best in people. I know that there are some people out there who lack basic common sense and/or are completely lazy and expect something for nothing, but let's not include them right now. Just as I don't go to work trying to think of what student I want to make miserable that day (for you non-teachers, some students think that us teachers have it out for them - um, not true - I don't develop plans on how to ruin a child's day, during my morning commute), I don't think that most normal people wake up wondering what they can get away with not doing, how they can blame other people for something they did wrong, what tasks they can put on someone else's plate even though they really could do it themselves, etc. Again, if there are people who do fit in this category, I'm going to try not to associate with them - or if I have to because of work reasons, be professional, do my thing and be done with it.
I'm sure I could add more and more points as I think about how to be more positive this year, but I'll end for now. All of this is because the people that matter most to me - my family and friends - deserve to be around a happy version of me. I deserve to live a happier life, but it's all up to me.
I'll end with this quote I found which I really liked:
Happiness is an attitude. We either make ourselves miserable, or happy and strong. The amount of work is the same.” – Francesca Reigler
Wishing everyone a happy and healthy 2014!
1 comment:
Love your word - and that quote! :)
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